There has been a rash of crimes across liberal cities. Liberal politicians passing laws that say you can shoplift up to $1000 or so before the cops are involved. Criminals are joining forces, each with a $999 shopping list. The more liberal the city, the bigger the problem. In the olden days, a bygone era of 2019, a president would care about law and order in the country he was elected to lead. But, as DOOCY found out today from WH Soulessspokesginger Jen Psaki, Joe Biden blames everything on the pandemic.

Here is Thursday's exchange, followed by my dramatic interpretation.

DOOCY: Let me get this straight. The president believes that in these liberal cities, where liberal politicians pass laws that make shoplifting up to a certain point basically legal, and people organize around those laws and go looting... Biden blames that all on the pandemic?

PSAKI: The position from this White House is that everything going wrong is because of the pandemic. Except for the president's handling of the pandemic. That's all Donald Trump's fault

DOOCY: So when criminals loot Nordstroms?

PSAKI: Pandemic.

DOOCY: Walgreens or a CVS?

PSAKI: Pandemic, yo.

DOOCY: A cart full of beer?

PSAKI: A cart full of the pandemic.

DOOCY: When they casually walk out the door with two handfuls of clothes?

PSAKI: P-P-P-Pandemic.

DOOCY: When they casually walk out with three flat-screen televisions?

PSAKI: Knock Knock? Who's there? BOOM, Pandemic!

DOOCY: What about when they steal and are honest about why they are doing so?

PSAKI: They're lying. They are only stealing because of pandemicity pandemicy pandemic.

You almost have to admire the bullshit. I mean, if I were a small business owner whose business is being looted during the holiday season, I'd be pissed. But as someone who hustles content for a living, I tip my hat to the White House. Not only to they think the American people are stupid, but they don't care that we know that they think we're stupid.

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