Zoomers, gather around. As resident oldhead at LwC, I admit I don't know all that much about TikTok other than it being the hot new thing. Maybe you can answer a burning question for me. Is there a genre of TikTok videos where "creators" make up something so painfully devoid of all reason, "dear God, this needs to be a parody because I refuse to believe someone thought this with their brain," faux-woke because they know how easy conservatives like me are to troll? Because there have been some doozies that make you question how anyone actually believes the words coming out of their faceholes. But a blue-haired, white, let's say "slightly bigger than average" woman claiming "fatphobia" is actually racist?

I'm just saying, if I am indeed falling for a version of satire here, I will scrape the egg off my face and make a frittata. Because what in the name of holy WPS is this?

The idea was specifically that white women were refined and restrained and this led them to having delicate, thin bodies. Over the years, these messages have become so subtle ...

So subtle, you might say they aren't actual messages at all. Or I can be wrong. As a white male, I am a lot. I was of the impression racism is based on skin color. NOT the amount of skin you have or the amount of fried candy bars and raw cookie dough wedged between your skin and your bones. I'm learning so much today. After all, she read a random book!

... but even today they are still prevalent in conversations around race, health, capitalism, and poverty.

There is nothing more rooted in "whiteness" than trying to culturally appropriate a black person's "anti-racism" to excuse away your inability to say no to the second pizza. No, not a second slice of pizza. A whole pizza, like some other well-known fatties.

I can't imagine black TikTok is thrilled with this specimen. We need a reaction video from an Afro-punk with green hair to tell this lady to shut her pie hole. With actual pie. She can even go with a pumpkin pie because we all know it's culturally appropriated sweet potato pie.

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