Lady Gaga’s newest music video “Til it Happens To You” is a PSA against college domestic violence…against women, perpetrated by men. The video features four different women sexually assaulted by three men, all on a college campus. Look, we’ve talked about college “rape culture” a million and a half thousand times. Many of the “rapes” reported have actually been fabricated, and the excuse used to justify the publications of these stories is: “Well, maybe this rape didn’t happen, but rapes on campus happen all the time!” Our problem with these wolf-crying stories is what it does to real rape victims. It diminishes them, it victimizes them, and it trivializes their plight. Okay? Okay.
We’re also not condoning rape, on campus, not on campus, at a frat party, not at a frat party, behind a school, not behind a school, in the White House under President Clinton, or when Ken smashes down the hot pink door and forces himself upon Barbie. Rape is never okay. Domestic violence is never okay. Okay?
BUT, here’s the problem with Lady Gaga’s PSA (video is below): it ignores some English-lit book-sized truths. If you watch the PSA, or if you read all the stories about “rape culture,” you come away with an impression: only men commit rape and domestic violence and women are the victims. Translated: men are evil monsters who should be taken out and shot, and women need safe spaces filled with pillows and chamomile tea. Also, free abortions. And that’s the biggest problem we have with “rape culture” and Lady Gaga’s PSA.
Prepare yourselves, you’re about to get fact-slapped. Micro-aggressions, ahoy!
If you’re the victim of domestic violence, you’re probably a man. Wait, what, how is that possible if men are ogres who live under bridges and eat babies? Because women are far more likely to be “intimate terrorists” than men:
Women were more likely to be verbally and physically aggressive to their partners than men. “This study found that women demonstrated a desire to control their partners and were more likely to use physical aggression than men. “It wasn’t just pushing and shoving,” said Bates, Medical Xpress reported. Some of the survey respondents circled boxes for things like beating up, kicking, and even threatening to use a weapon.
Recent studies like the one cited above, are “game-changing” because here’s another fact:
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, men and boys are less likely to report the violence and seek services due to several challenges such as the stigma of being a male victim.
So while women are constantly beating the drum about rape and domestic violence against women (committed by men who are pigs), they’re failing to raise awareness for the men who are being abused…by women. What about that “equality” thing again, you SJW feminists? When are you going to fight for the men who are being abused by their partners? Maybe Justin Bieber can do that PSA. We’ll call it “Don’t Hit Me Baby One More Time.”
And then we’d hit him.
Here’s another wrench we’re lobbing into Lady Gaga’s video…Sorry, Gaga. Though your video is shot as black and white, your portrayal of victims isn’t so straight. Domestic violence in same-sex partnerships is an enormous–mostly silent–problem:
The most recent statistics available on same-sex intimate partner violence from the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, which focuses on LGBT relationships, reported 21 incidents of intimate partner homicides in the LGBT community, the highest ever. Nearly half of them were gay men and, for the second year in a row, the majority of survivors were people of color—62 percent.
In any case, he continued, the police might not believe the victims when they call, the attitude often being, “You’re both men, work it out between yourselves,” or, “Women aren’t violent; they don’t hit each other.” Indeed, according to the NCAVP report, only 16.5 percent of survivors reported interacting with the police, but in one-third of those cases, the survivor was arrested instead of the abuser. A mere 3.7 percent of survivors reported seeking access to shelters.
The problem here is that gay couples are constantly portrayed in television and film as healthy, loving partners. Why? Mostly to normalize gay and lesbian behavior/relationships to the culture (a move that’s largely worked). But gay men and lesbians are being beat up and abused just as much as their heterosexual counterparts, and virtually no one is talking about it. Because it’s not politically correct to muddy the rainbow color waters of #LoveIsLove? Domestic violence is wrong, no matter who commits the crime. Sinead O’Connor, how about an activist music video? Let’s call it “Come Break My Window, My Girlfriend is Strangling Me.”
Lastly, rape, sexual assaults, and molestation. The numbers will surprise you here, too:
When those cases were taken into account, the rates of nonconsensual sexual contact basically equalized, with 1.270 million women and 1.267 million men claiming to be victims of sexual violence….
…The 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, for which the Centers for Disease Control invented a category of sexual violence called “being made to penetrate.” This definition includes victims who were forced to penetrate someone else with their own body parts, either by physical force or coercion, or when the victim was drunk or high or otherwise unable to consent.
Yikes, ladies, the gents are getting raped quite a bit these days. Tell us again about how only women are the victims of “rape culture”?
All of this is why we sometimes have an open-fist-sized problem with the allegation that modern feminists want “gender or sex equality.” While plenty of gals are out there criticizing rape culture and demonizing men, the same feminists aren’t talking about the violence and rape happening to men. You can maybe understand why we don’t take your calls for equality as, how should we say it…seriously?
But please, female pop stars, keep making the PSAs that portray men as monsters. Also, please keep making your bones by sexually appealing to said men.