If you are like us and enjoy progressive performative slacktivism, I'm happy to announce that the vegans are at it again. As (I believe) first reported by Old Row, they are cementing themselves outside of Starbucks to protest an upcharge for fake milk.

This all started with actor James Cromwell, best known for his role in a movie with a talking hunk of bacon and pulled pork. He got his hemp panties in a bunch over Starbucks charging extra for vegan-friendly milk. So, he cemented his hand to the counter. Others took up his cause recently outside a Starbucks in Nashville. They cemented themselves to the street.

Well, kinda. Cementing themselves to the street would be too much of a commitment. But they stood in cinder blocks and filled those up with cement while brandishing their "end the Vegan upcharge" signs. Unclear is how they got the cinder blocks there. Due to the lack of meat in their diet, they would struggle to carry the cinderblocks there themselves.

And this doesn't look like the face of a guy who hits the gym much.

The real hero, however, is the dudebro counter-protesting across the street. He's not our favorite anti-vegan counter-protester. But we'll put him in the Top 5.

Here's the dumbest thing about all of this in which there are a lot of dumb things from which to choose. Cinder blocks cost $2.58 at Lowes. A bucket of quick-dry concrete costs $10.28. The cost of getting professional signs and silk-screened t-shirts made up varies depending on how much in bulk you buy. Plus, you can tack on hundreds of dollars in fines and penalties when the police show up to chisel you out of your cement boots.

The cost for getting fake milk in your latter instead of the real kind? Seventy cents.

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