Masks suck. The science is questionable, and that was before "the science" recently changed. Patriots have been active in not complying all across America. One place it's not the best idea to do so is on airlines. Flights have yeeted three-year-olds with autism and other emotional disorders, even though "the science" says they don't have to wear masks. You raising your voice could put you up on the no-fly list. So you have to think of a workaround. Like, if "the science" says you can have your mask down while eating, fly with a single french fry in your mouth the entire time.

Like this legend allegedly did.

You know the viral video disclaimer. This is only a thirteen-second video. We're relying on the rando who recorded the video and sent it to @LibsofTikTok to be truthy. Allow for missing context. This video is a rare example where I WANT the missing context. I want to know this man's story and what led him to make such a decision. I have two theories.

Theory #1: The man planned this for a while. He knew he wasn't going to wear a mask but didn't want the federal fine. He spent months hatching a plan. Wearing panties on his face was an option, but another hero found that to be ineffective. Then a lightbulb went off in his noggin'. Airline regulations state that you don't have to wear a mask while eating. What if he was eating the entire flight? The rub is that chewing for an hour and a half might make your jaw sore. Then our hero remembered there is a Nathan's in his airport where they have those thick-ass crinkle-cut fries. THAT'S IT! He'll just sit with a french fry hanging out of his mouth!

Theory #2: The guy just woke up that morning and said, "F*ck it, I'll just have a french fry in my mouth."

The world may never know.

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IN RED AMERICA ("Back in America" Parody) | Louder With Crowderyoutu.be