Palate cleansers like this best saved for Friday. But since the wheels are coming off the planet between Ukraine and Canada, we at the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website felt you could use a mental health break. So here is a drunk woman being chased through Orlando International as she rides a motorized suitcase.

Did I mention it was a bicycle cop? And that the video is shot first person from the cop's bodycam? That information seems necessary.

Raw video: Orlando police officer on bike chases woman on motorized suitcase at OIAyoutu.be

It's refreshing to have an airport story that doesn't have to do with patriots finding creative ways to shirk the anti-science mask mandates.

Chelsea, the suspect, said “I don’t want no beef. I’m just trying to go home and enjoy myself." The rub is she was already enjoying herself too much. Her speech was slurred, and she reeked of Tito's Vodka. Airlines tend to frown upon that. They don't want drunk people on the plane. It's hard enough to handle people who GET drunk on the plane. Police were called in to deescalate the situation, tell Chelsea to sober up and get another flight. This is where Chelsea flipped the cop off and the race was on!

The cop was content laughing this off. I mean, how often do you get to chase a woman riding a suitcase on your Schwinn? Chelsea didn't find it as amusing. She spat on the cop. This is where the handcuffs came out. Also, the only way for this story to end:

"While sitting in the back of the patrol car, Alston ripped apart the police vehicle’s fabric headliner and defecated in the seat, causing an estimated $1,200 in damage, according to an arrest report."

As of this writing, there is no word on if Chelsea made it home to New York. Or if the officer was given a medal. Though, I will admit that I started shopping for motorized luggage. That looked like fun!

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