Anyone who knows the Zac Brown Band song "Sic 'Em on a Chicken" knows when a chicken comes after your family, that chicken has gotta go. We saw this happen in Jacksonville, where a chicken attacked James Nix's father, and the man had to defend both his dad and his property. The rub here is that it wasn't just a run-of-the-mill street chicken. It was his neighbor's beloved pet.

The chicken police were called, and Nix was arrested. Upon release, James spoke to the media in what may be the greatest description of an event I've ever heard.

Money quote:

"This is my property. I've got a right to life, property, and live. Just like you do. If a man comes to attack you and you know Kung fu, you're going to 'hi-ya' him, right? Ok, simple as that. So I'm defending myself, I feared for my safety, and the chicken died. Chickens are dying every day, people. At Church's, Popeye's, and Kentucky Fried Chicken."

James Defelice, the chicken's father and/or housemate, told the local media that he didn't believe Nix's story. "I didn’t see my rooster at first, so I knew something was up because he would always come chase me. Then, I went in [Nix's] yard and yelled at him, and he finally came out and said he killed him."

Nix faces animal cruelty charges. I can only hope the ensuing trial gets as much media coverage as Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard.

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