Someone really should have handed Doug Ramsey a Snickers before he went nuts on a guy in a parking structure the other day. There's no excuse to just start biting other people unless your name is Mike Tyson, in which case, you can bite whoever you like so long as you don't punch me.

Following the University of Arkansas vs. Missouri State game on September 17, reports KTLA, after a car effectively love-tapped Ramsey's Bronco in the parking garage, he thought it was a reason to go absolutely ape sh*t. Ramsey jumped out of his car, punched through the back windshield of the Subaru that had just bumped into his car, and then proceeded to grab the driver--who had, at this point, existed his vehicle--and start going to town with body blows.

At one point, Ramsey allegedly "bit the [owner of the Subaru's] nose, ripping the flesh on the tip of the nose" before threatening to kill him.

Holy sh*t, man! It's a fender bender, not the end of the world!

Doug Ramsey happens to be the COO for Beyond Meat, an LA-based company that makes plant-based meat substitutes.

Perhaps Ramsey was just really hankering for some of the real stuff and Subaru guy caught him at the wrong time. Maybe Ramsey is patient zero and the zombie apocalypse is upon us. I wouldn't be surprised if someone who subsisted on fake meat started the end of the world.

Regardless of the reasoning behind it or the hypothetical zombie doomsday that may be upon us, Ramsey was arrested, booked into the Washington County jail, and charged with terroristic threatening and third-degree battery. I think there's an argument to be made for cannibalism, too, but I don't make the rules.

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