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February 05, 2021
David Hogg Pillow Update: The Genius Can't Find a Pillow-Making Union
David Hogg really is the AOC of David Hoggs. News broke yesterday that the Hogganator is starting the wokest pillow company EVAH! It's to compete with Mike Lindell's MyPillow, since Lindell has a different political opinion from Hogg's. Yes, this is where we're at in American politics. Hogg promised an amazing company. Everything would be run by labor unions. Living wages like whoa. BIPOCs bossing around cis white males on the assembly line. Paid maternity leave that's at time and a half if you're trans. Puppies and rainbows and cheese for everybody! It's gonna be amazeballs! Except for one small problem.
The former teen star can't find a union shop.
I NEED A UNIONIZED PILLOW MANUFACTURER IN THE US
We're having a hard time finding one
If you know one PLEASE dm
— David Hogg (@davidhogg111) February 5, 2021
One can only hope this is a teachable moment. Much like when the GameStop-trading Redditors discover what "capital gains taxes" are. It's easy to live in progressive fantasy land about how businesses should be run. Then you try doing so in practice. You soon discover that if you live out all your soggiest leftist economic dreams, you'll be selling pillows for $800 each. Hogg isn't a fresh-faced teen any more, so he can't rely on his Hollywood friends to return his phone calls. Something he can cry about at the support group with Greta Thunberg.
Maybe David Hogg can learn a lesson about how the real world works. If not, at least he'll be entertaining the masses on Twitter trying to figure it out. He really is the gift that keeps on giving.
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