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Rep. Eric Swallows is attempting to run for governor of California. He feels the best way to do that is to imitate the current California Governor imitating a basement dwelling edglelord sh*tposter. This led him to pick a fight with our second-favorite current president, "El Pres" Dave Portnoy. Maybe he thought MS NOW would give him an attaboy and let him jump Kaite Porter in the polls. Instead, the boys now know about Fang Fang.

What got sand in Rep. Swallows's lady parts was El Pres expressing support for Donald Trump's actions in Iran. As we saw in the recent beef involving the USA Men's Hockey Team, El Pres is the most America-loving patriotic American at Barstool Sports, especially compared to some of his subordinates. So, it's no surprise he posted this:

Rep. Swallows didn't like this. So much of the Democrat agenda is based on hating Donald Trump. Actually, it's their entire agenda. The Democrat Party doesn't have any other agenda. El Pres being someone in the mainstream who says Trump may have a point about something might cause other Americans to consider that, yes, mayhaps Trump is right after all.

So Swallows was all like, "your whiny-ass" this and "stick to judging your favorite pizzas" and "the adults will sort out the wars" and the other thing. You'd think Swallows would have realized that the guy who literally invented pageviews literally would clap back.

Also, that he would know how to use the Google.

To further drive home Rep. Swallows being tossed off the Intelligence Committee after (allegedly) putting his dick in a spy...

If Rep. Swallows hasn't fired his social media person who thought going after El Pres was a good idea, I expect them to blast Portnoy for accidentally typing "my" instead of "by." As someone who knows a thing or two about typos himself, I have El Pres's back. We have multiple different AI prompts that will change the entire meaning of what you're trying to write if you hit the wrong button, yet none of them can pick up on if you use the wrong letter.

As for what's happening in Iran, things are rapidly changing, and by the time you read this, details may have...well, changed. But rest assured, our dudes Lane the Brain and George the Greek are monitoring the situation.

El Pres didn't deem Swallows worthy of an Emergency Press Conference. This should be the end of the beef, but we'll see if the congressman takes another swing.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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