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July 06, 2023
Watch: Police need your help in finding a Bud Light thief because I guess paying for it was less embarrassing
It has come to this. A Bud Light fan who needs his fix, but knows if he is seen buying a Bud Light everyone will laugh at him. "Dy'lan Mulvaney" they'll call him. Sneaking into a distributor and stealing a few cases was the only way to avoid embarrassment. Now he's a wanted fugitive instead of switching to Yuengling or trying a local brewer.
Not since the guy who got busted DUI while dressed as a bottle of Bud Light has there been such an unfortunate incident.
The West Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff's Office is reaching out through Facebook for help in finding this man and either bringing him to justice or at the very least getting him some help. According to one comment, the stolen Bud Light speaks volumes about this thief.
The suspect recently entered a convenience store off U.S. Hwy. 190 where he walks into the beer cooler and selects three cases of Bud Light Beer. This suspect exits the store without making payment and is seen putting the beer into the backseat of a four-door sedan.
The Sheriff's Office reminds everyone in the Facebook post that all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. So let's give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Maaaaaaybe he read on the internet that they were giving Bud Light for free, and misunderstood that you needed to buy it first and then send in a rebate coupon.
He only took Bud Light. It's not like he held the store up. He didn't also grab a sixer of good beer and some munchies on the way out. He only took Bud Light. I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding.
Yet another in a long list of negative stories for the embattled beer. Ever since aligning themselves with controversial titface performer Dylan Mulvaney, the company has been in freefall to where the product is cheaper than water in some places.
There are calls for the current CEO to resign after allowing the marketing blunder that has cost the company over twenty billion dollars in losses to go on. Anything to avoid the company from admitting they f*cked up and will leave politics to cable news, Target, and the NBA.
Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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