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January 04, 2021
Ted Cruz Hilariously Dunks on Democrats 'Literally' in Bed with Chinese Communists
All eyes are on Georgia this week. Two runoff elections will determine whether Cocaine Mitch retains control of the Senate or Nancy Pelosi's errand boy will do her bidding. *Whispers* I'm talking about Chuck Schumer. Ted Cruz hit the campaign trail in support of his colleague Kelly Loeffler. Her opponent, "Reverend" Raphael Warnock — if you aren't familiar with Warnock, him saying white people should repent for our whiteness is among the least batsh*t crazy things he's said. So, there is a lot at stake on Tuesday.
Though Cruz still found time for open mic night at the Yuk Yuk Lounge. The senator figured since he was on the road, he'd work out some new material.
By the way, Kelly, what is it with Raphael Warnock embracing Fidel Castro? Some of us take that a little personally. But as the son of a Cuban immigrant, I have said many, many times, "Screw the Chinese communists." Apparently Eric Swalwell said, "Okay."
Of course, he's enjoying a laugh at the expense of Rep. Eric Swalwell. Who may or may not have been playing hide the Constitution with a Chinese spy named "Fang Fang." Which, as a side note, if I were on stage and doing an outdated cultural impersonation of a Chinese person, "Fang Fang" would be the name I'd go with. Thankfully if Cruz had an impersonation, he's saving it. Saying the words "screw" and "in bed" was working blue enough for this audience.
It doesn't all have to be "socialism scary, the sky is falling" all the time. Warnock and Jon Ossoff would both be an absolute disaster if elected. But it's still okay to laugh once in a while!
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