I'm a professional and have NOT started drinking yet today. Though the Proper Twelve is calling me and this is a good post to call it a day on. Because a Philadelphia morning show was ALL about getting started early when one of the greatest double entendres of all time was uttered as they tossed (off) to the traffic report.

It's the ABC-6 morning news. The one in red is Karen Rogers. The one in yellow -- who may or may not have been kink-shamed here -- is Jessica Boyington.

"And to another woman who likes to be double-fisted, in a different way, I think, Jess."

Aaaaaand Jessica knew she was going viral.

I really should watch Archer for all the times I use that .gif.

What happened is that Karen confused "double fistING" with GETTING "double-fistED." The -ing makes all the difference. Double fisting is when you have two drinks at the same time, one for each hand. That would mean Jessica likes the sauce and couldn't wait to get to Paddy's Pub. Though sadly, per the weather report, it is NOT sunny in Philadelphia today.

GETTING fistED is something else entirely. This is a family website and you no doubt know how to find the Urban Dictionary. Let's just say it involves all your fingers and the fun part of a lady. Getting DOUBLE fisted, one would assume would require a second hand and a second...um, entry point.

There is a chance Jessica double-fisted Karen during the commercial break, in that she used both her fists as she beat the crap out of her. Or they laughed it off since it's St. Patrick's Day and the studio was buying.

Editor's Note:

It’s official. MugClub. Is. Back.

Everyone here at the team is thrilled to inform you that MugClub relaunches on March 20, 2023. It is bigger, it is better, it is more affordable, it will include MORE content than ever AND it’s powered by Rumble!

Did I mention that the annual price has been lowered from $99 to $89?