Wild, Old-Man Brawl Pops Off at Home Depot, Complete With Shovels and Paint Cans Flying
Today is the start of summer, and it has already been getting too hot. No one wants to STILL be working on their spring projects. Plus, thanks to Joe Biden's inflation, Americans are on edge. "Insanity laughs under pressure we're breaking," as the song goes. The stress became too much for a group of old dudes, who ran into each other at a Home Depot, and it was on-sight.
The folks at Whiskey Riff took a break from celebrating the third anniversary of Koe Wetzel's Harold Saul High to file this report.
This would have never happened at Lowes. Maybe at Ace Hardware. But never at Lowes.
The NY Post reports that no charges were filed because, apparently, they all knew each other. Chalk this up to old dudes being bros I guess.
The open question is what caused sh*t to pop off like this? I doubt it was a yo mamma or a "what did the five fingers say to the face" joke. If I had to bet money, I bet this was like one of those news team brawls from Anchorman. Two rival general contractors fighting over the same territory. Old Man #1 bumped into Old Man #2 and realized #2 snaked the Peterson contract from him. The two families have been feuding for decades, and this was the last straw. Paint went flying. #1 consigliere was concussed after a shovel to the noggin'. A poor truck was an innocent victim of a whitewashing. It's sad that it had to go down like that.
Apropos of nothing, I hate painting. Once I got bougie enough to pay people to do it for me, I did. Not sure I would hire either of these two, though.
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