As the holidays draw near, stressed-out people just want to stuff their bodies with all the meats. Thus, a sausage company decided to entice us by placing a sausage in a manger. Triggered Christians are totes pissed.

GREGGS has apologised to anyone offended by publicity for its first Advent calendar which shows a sausage roll in a manger instead of the baby Jesus.

Firstly, these accounts need to be restricted back to 140 characters. ASAP. Then, along with this year's poinsettias, someone needs to help these people grow a sense of humor.

Meanwhile, the Rev Mark Edwards of St Matthew's Church in Dinnington and St Cuthbert's Church in Brunswick said Greggs had been "disrespectful".

As a result of complaints a Greggs spokeswoman told The Northern Echo: "We’re really sorry to have caused any offence, this was never our intention.”

Don't apologize, Greggs. It's only a few butthurt men in collars. Everyone else loves your spicy goodness.

A vegan with a sense of humor. I didn't know they existed. Consider myself shocked. Shocked, I say.

Reverse psychology, well played.

Look, the sausage as Jesus may bother you. It may not. Regardless, burning down the entire institution is not the way of Christ. Since baby sausage Jesus isn't a matter of life and death, this just may be a "turn the other cheek" kind of moment. Personally, why not swaddle sausage baby Jesus with bacon? That's where Greggs went wrong. The entire Nativity scene should've been given the delicatessen treatment. Give Joseph robes of prosciutto. Mary a salami blanket. The three wise men should've have presented gifts of frank and beans, goat cheese, and brown sugar glaze.

Just ideas.

~ Co-written by Nichole Cooper and Courtney Kirchoff

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