Ghislaine Maxwell, convicted sex trafficker and former top b*tch to Jeffrey Epstein, is reinventing herself in prison as a yasss girl, slay queen, female role model. That's according to the latest insane report from Daily Mail on her adventures in the American penal (tee hee) system.

Maxwell is hosting twice weekly etiquette courses for forty of her fellow convicts. It's a four-week program that teaches the three pillars of etiquette: respect, consideration and honesty. Ghis, as I imagine her prison nickname to be, covers everything from proper dress to table manners to how to conduct yourself in a job interview.

She also cites her bestie Hillary Clinton as a powerful female figure who shattered glass ceilings. Before you flip over your desk, you'll want to read this quote:

Miss Maxwell's message is, so what if you're a woman and a convicted felon, you're not a second class citizen. She's an unlikely role model but she's very passionate about this.

NOTE: There is still no word about Maxwell's client list of powerful people she trafficked underage girls for. We only know about Jeffrey Epstein. Who critics say, without evidence, didn't kill himself.

Maxwell, at first, was quite put off by her new living arrangements upon arriving in Tallahassee. She refused to eat and didn't like her clothes. But she has since "taken up several fun new hobbies," "made friends" and "come out of her shell."

She likes to play kickball and hula-hoop. But where she really shines? Checkers. She was selected for the over-40 prison checker team. I want to quote this directly because it's a thing of beauty.

You want the best players and she has a reputation for being smart. The winning unit gets a really good meal, chicken wings, pizza, that sort of thing. It's much better than the usual food. It's a big deal. Nobody cares what you're in for so long as you win.

Last month, he heard Maxwell has become so obsessed with softball, the other prison inmates have given her the nickname "Dottie." You know, from that girl's baseball movie.

Prior to that, when Maxwell was moved to FCI Tallahassee, she was provided the opportunity to learn a trade like an electrician, baker, horticulturist, plumber, or cosmologist.

Also, to pass the time, Maxwell is free to do pilates, lift weights, or play flag football and frisbee. She can also read a book in the recreational library. And she is able to continue teaching yoga.

It's good to see things are working out for her. It would be a shame if a convicted sex trafficker to a notorious pedophile (and his friends) was treated poorly by the United States penal (tee hee) system.

And now she's teaching other inmates to be just like her. Because of course she is.

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