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This Kid is Excited for His First Paycheck...Until His First Lesson on Taxes

Brodigan
July 26, 2020

We are all this kid. There is not a single person reading this post right now who has not shared this experience. Some of us may have shared this experience longer ago than others, but the experience was still shared. You get your first job. For me, it was McDonalds. It's your first time making money outside of getting an allowance from your parents. It's your first taste of adulthood. You do the math in your head, multiplying how much you are making by how many hours you worked. Two weeks later, you get your first paycheck. You're happy. You're excited. Then unfortunately, you notice less money than you were expecting.

“so if I earned that, why don’t I get it?” and a libertarian was born https://t.co/PorqTInt8J
— Jessica (Fletcher) O’Donnell (@Jessica (Fletcher) O’Donnell)1595741628.0


I wish I could tell this kid it gets better. But the next lesson is finding out what your taxes get spent on. SPOILER: It's not bridges and roads, as leftist douchebags smugly say (see ANDREW YANG WANTS TO TAX COW FARTS TO CONTROL YOUR DIET and TRUMP TO STRUGGLING PARENTS: IF TEACHERS REFUSE TO DO THEIR JOB, YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR SCHOOL TAXES REFUNDED). Then one day, you find yourself self-employed. It's your job to physically take the taxes out of your own paycheck and with each quarterly check you send to the government you find yourself becoming more and more of a libertarian whack job. Eventually, you die. And your family gets taxed for that.

My advice to this kid is to take those warm fuzzies he had before he opened the envelope and hang on them for as long as he can. More importantly, congratulations on the first job! Jokes about taxes aside, there are few better feelings.

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