Okay gents, I started this post in May, but kept letting it slide to the bottom of my to-do list for a number of reasons listed below. Trigger warning, it’s likely you won’t like the following, but I have to disclaim a post such as this.
- I honestly want this post to be helpful. But I’ve got a number of gripes about men who constantly bitch about women. And I’ve got just as many gripes about women who constantly bitch about men (so back off). So if you’re of the MGTOW tribe, I encourage you to move along. This post is to help guys looking for real help and advice regards women. Not for men who have already written off women. Go in peace.
- Seems whenever I’ve tried offering advice about the ladies, some douche swoops in to explain (ahem, “mansplain”) where I’m wrong. Despite a lifetime of me being an actual woman. Who knows women. As I’m a woman. It’s always the jerks who ruin everything.
- Following that, I often hear guys complain “Women say they want X but then go for Y.” Men do the same. People, male and female, often say they want one thing but go for another. Which is why I’m enlisting Jordan Peterson to help with a few pointers.
- Sometimes the truth hurts. Like this one: there is no female equivalent of incels. Women can get laid or snag a boyfriend without too many problems. Now I grant you, he may not be the man of her dreams, but any woman can get a man. That includes the ugly women you think can’t get laid. They can get laid. Amy Schumer’s schtick was what a slut she was. Kind of makes my point. If a woman isn’t getting laid right now, it’s because she doesn’t want to get laid right now. Or because there’s no man who interests her enough to go through the trouble. I’m sorry I have to be so crude in my language, but I’m trying to make a point here.
With those out of the way, let’s get to the guts.
On average, women like specific traits in men. Note that I’m saying on average. Take everything you’ve heard feminists say and chuck it. We’re not talking about feminists here, because you don’t want to be with one of those hairy bovines anyway. So un-hear and un-read everything the cray cray, blue armpit feminists have screeched about men. Okay? Okay.
Women vary in what the like in everything. Including their men. But just as men on average prefer certain traits in women, so do women prefer certain traits in men. I’m working within those parameters. Jordan Peterson is here to help.
ONE: Women like men who’re uncivilized. They just want to be the ones to civilize their men.
This is one reason I think women initially like the “bad guy.” He’s not just exciting, his element of danger speaks to an element of strength. Which women need in a time of crisis or, in the caveman days, to protect her and her family.
This uncivilized man theme has played out in countless fictional portrayals read (or watched) voraciously by women. As Peterson discusses in the video above.
Beauty and the Beast is the female fantasy, proven by engineers, Peterson, and any woman who’s being honest with you. Women tend not to dream of being helpless damsels waiting for a handsome prince to rescue them. Rescuing the damsel is largely a male fantasy.
TWO: “Women don’t like nice guys.” Because women don’t like weakness. And “nice” is often a mask for “weak.”
Women hear this one a lot: “I’m just a nice guy and women don’t like nice guys.” Firstly, in my experience, guys who say they’re really nice guys are actually passive-aggressive dicks. Secondly, “nice” is often a euphemism for weak. Going to the first point above, women want their men to be a little dangerous, and dangerous on their behalf. A man who is weak will not stand up for himself, his woman or his family. He cannot be relied upon. A weak man allows himself to be walked all over, out of fear of disrupting the status quo. Which is often why this type of “nice guy” becomes passive-aggressive. And why women left swipe.
THREE: Women are attracted to men across and up from their socio-economic status. For evolutionary reasons, not because they’re shallow gold-diggers.
Women marry up the socioeconomic ladder because generally speaking, women who want to get married want to have children and raise those children. So she’s looking to be supported, not to support a man and her children with a career. Which is why women have, since the dawn of time, found wealthy men more attractive than poor men. When women are at home raising the children, they need a man to be the financial support. Even women who aren’t planning on having children still have this evolutionary trait hardwired into them. As men who don’t want children are still hardwired to find fertile women (large breasts, small waist) more attractive than women resembling Jabba the Hutt.
Are some women gold-digging tramps? Certainly. As some men are shallow pigs. But by and large, most good women who want to raise families with men need their man to be capable of supporting a family, so she can care for the children. Women who’ve achieved a lot, who are already successful on their own, therefore struggle to find men at or above their socioeconomic status. As Peterson notes, there’s no easy solution here. Read also Sorry, Losers! Men Can Like Hot Ladies. Ladies Can Like Successful Men.
FOUR: Women don’t like the man-baby who refuses to grow up.
For whatever reason, too many people refuse to grow up. It’s one thing to play, to enjoy games and sport for recreation. It’s another thing entirely to use play and recreation as an escape from maturity.
Our modern era has targeted men by demonizing them as patriarchal rapists, oppressive monsters, and privileged for the sake of their gender. Read also Dear Feminists: Your Fake Rape Claims Against Men Have Real Consequences. As such, it’s possible a lot of men have retreated into adolescence because why the hell not? What our society has communicated to young boys and men has, by and large, been incredibly toxic. But the women of the same generation of men unwilling or incapable of shedding adolescence aren’t responsible for the messages of the same society. Women of today looking to settle down with men grew up alongside those men. They didn’t write the rules. As such, those women are still attracted to men who are responsible, reliable, mature grown-ups. Not perpetual boys who cling to their youth for whatever reason, even if the reason has a solid basis.
FIVE: A man with responsibility has meaning and therefore happiness.
Women want men who embrace responsibility, not men who run from it. At least according to online dating profiles, a lot of men describe themselves as “laid back and easy going.” What women want from men is reliability, trustworthiness, maturity, and a man who accepts responsibility. As Peterson points out, women figure out what they’re responsible for earlier on. A woman who understands her purpose in life, whether that purpose is motherhood or another vocation, is usually filled with more meaning and purpose which translates into happiness. The same for a man. But a man who lacks responsibility also has a life short on meaning, toiling in misery.
It’s no small wonder men who’re looking for purpose flock to Jordan Peterson who, at least for the time being, is more than eager to offer guidance.
Those are just five points out of many Jordan Peterson makes when lecturing on the differences between men and women.
Again, this post was intended to be helpful. It’s not to sway MGTOW or diehard MRAs, who’ve eschewed women, to come back into the mating fold. But it is for young men who want to understand a little more about why women are the way they are. As Peterson repeatedly points out, women are more complicated. Hopefully, his explanations and mine will simplify the female sex just a little bit.