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2020 Election
2020 Election Posts Articles Politics Culture

Liberals Created Beauty Products Named After Biden and… People Are BUYING this Crap?!

Brodigan
October 02, 2020

I realize there are more important stories going on in the world. The president of the United States came down with a case of the 'rona. Cocaine Mitch is almost at the point where he'll smack Democrats across the face with his junk if it will confirm Amy Coney Barrett. But I so rarely read a story where my my initial reaction is, "... yeah, I got nothing." There is a a new line of makeup products that is named after Joe Biden. Here, read this while I collect my thoughts:

BIDEN Beauty launched this week on the heels of the first debate, and though that event was far from pretty ... the Biden-themed products are flying off shelves. David Yi -- founder of Very Good Light, the group behind BIDEN Beauty -- tells TMZ ... they launched it with the goal of activating the beauty community to get behind the Democratic nominee and encouraging them to vote blue.

I don't entirely know what the "beauty community" is, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that none of them are supporting Donald Trump. Maybe some of them don't plan to vote, and Yi feels a new lipstick named after a septuagenarian dementia patient will drive them to the voting booth. Or at least to request an absentee ballot. I just ... I don't know.

How do you even name colors or shades of rouge after Joe Biden? "Groping Your Daughter" eye shadow? A lip gloss that tastes like old man farts? Is there an exclusive body lotion called "I Can't Find My Pants and Who's This Black Lady Who Keeps Following Me Around"? Worse, I'm afraid there is a MAGAsexual somewhere trying to come out with a competing Trump line. But there are only so many shades of orange.

Seriously, though, this new line of Biden beauty products is the swag equivalent of the Steve Buscemi "how do you do, fellow kids" meme. If you are voting for someone solely because you saw the candidate's name on a canister of concealer, your vote should be constitutionally suppressed.

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