Dr. Fauci Starring in His Own Children's Book Because Kids Haven't Suffered Enough
Welcome to America. Where we cancel Dr. Seuss and replace him with Dr. Fauci. As if Anthony Fauci isn't insufferable enough, now he is getting his own children's book: Dr. Fauci: How a Boy from Brooklyn Became — OK, brace yourself for this last part — America's Doctor. It's bad enough that grown-ass adults are still inexplicably still enamored by Fauci. Now we're taking his message of living in constant fear, lying for your own good, and shutting up and doing what you're told to the youths.
Ten bucks say the CDC mandates this book to protect you from the 'rona. Masks, staying six feet apart, and reading the adventures of young Tony every night are the only things to save you from the 'rona. Science says so! Simon & Schuster released a summary of this sure-to-be clearance rack classic.
Before he was Dr. Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, Anthony Fauci was a curious boy in Brooklyn, delivering prescriptions from his father's pharmacy on his blue Schwinn bicycle. His father and immigrant grandfather taught Anthony to ask questions, consider all the data, and never give up—and Anthony's ability to stay curious and to communicate with people would serve him his entire life.
Look. I get the original leftist and media (but I repeat myself) obsession with Anthony Fauci. He was the guy saying the exact opposite of what Donald Trump was saying. He became a liberal celebrity as a result. But enough is enough. We're over a year since the initial "15 Days to Flatten the Curve." We have a record of things Fauci told us that turned out not to be true if it wasn't complete bullplop when he told us. Enough with the hero worship. It's time for this media darling to transition to the next stage of his life, reality TV. It's where all celebrities go who have overstayed their welcome. Give him a spot on the next season of Dancing with the Stars. Either that or a contestant on World's Worst Celebrity Chefs. I'll also accept Growing Up Fauci on the USA Network, where he moves in next to Todd Chrisley. I don't care as long as I don't have to hear him lecture us any more.
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