I would never say that you shouldn't wear a mask, per CDC guidelines. Particularly during the first 100 days of the Biden administration. We're all in this together and hashtag a bunch of other things. Is my sarcasm font working?

It feels like there is no joke you can make about masks that someone won't take seriously. First, we were told not to wear masks. Then, we were told we must wear a mask. Wearing a mask was the only way to keep us safe. Covering your mouth with fabric is the highest form of patriotism. People joked if one mask is safe, why not wear two? Anthony Fauci ruined the gag, saying that's a great idea. Then people joked, why not three? There was a screen capture from CNBC floating around Twitter on Tuesday saying three masks are better. An obvious joke. Someone on the interwebs was making a funny. There's is no possible way that ... oh my God, it's real.

Can we say this is absurd? Because it feels like we should be at a place where we can call this absurd and not be deplatformed for it. We've seen many a meltdown over someone not wearing a single mask in public. I can't wait for the videos of crazy people wildin' out because you're ONLY wearing a single mask.

Also, I'm no scientist or an expert, but I was under the impression that wearing a single mask was the most effective way to prevent yourself from catching COVID. Yet according to CNBC, wearing THREE masks is only 90% effective. Wearing two, which was supposed to be an F'N JOKE, is only 75% effective. Wearing just one mask is ... only 60% effective? How many masks am I expected to wear to be 100% safe from the 'rona? While still being able to communicate with fellow sentient lifeforms? Though if you're someone who wears more than one mask, you are most likely someone I don't care to speak to.

I would go further, but we're running out of topics we can be honest about and STILL be allowed on Facebook. One of the many reasons why you should sign up for our newsletter today.

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