There are two things I miss from the old normal. One is being able to go to my gym (see NEW JERSEY GYM OWNER FACES JAIL TIME FOR LETTING PEOPLE WORK OUT and NEW JERSEY GYM REOPENS IN VIOLATION OF EXECUTIVE ORDERS. COPS REACTED WITH TRUE PATRIOTISM!). The other is not wanting to leave my house because I choose not to and not because the government is shaking a finger at me. However, every so often, I did like to go out and socialize and might do it again if bars and restaurants ever reopen. In Maryland, one restaurant is preparing for the day the government allows it to open again while still forcing customers to be socially distant: bumper tables.

Apologies for not embedding the video (it wouldn't let me) but you wanna click the link to watch and then come back here. Also, watch this tweet:

Fish Tales Bar and Grill on Herring Way off 22nd Street received 10 "bumper tables" over the weekend. The idea is the patron gets inside the table that's equipped with bumpers, keeping them 6 feet apart from everyone else.

Shawn Harman described the tables as basically an "adult version of a toddler walker."

Here's the thing. I get the initial reaction from my editor: "I cannot respect anyone who participates in this. But I can laugh at them." But think of the fun drunken antics and shenanigans that can be had. A group of people (or at least a 25% capacity of people) all with buckets of beer on their tables. You see a guy trying to flirt with a girl you want to flirt with and get to bump him away, and he can't do anything. Halfway through happy hour, the entire bar would turn into one giant game of bumper cars. Plus there's zero chance that someone won't get knocked off the dock into the water.

And the best part? The bouncers can't do a gosh-darn thing to stop it. Because you're always going to be six feet away from them. Forget not participating in this. I may not go to a bar that DOESN'T participate in this.

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