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August 10, 2022
Video captures loser stealing twenty briskets from a BBQ joint, and this should be a capital offense
Some crimes are beyond unimaginable, and this one has me literally shaking. A low-life scumbag broke into a BBQ joint and stole not one but TWENTY BRISKETS. Right off the smoker, too. Here I foolishly thought the most offensive BBQ story of the week would be New York's governor. What you've heard people say is true. It really is the darkest time for America.
Even worse, it happened in Texas. You can get strung up in the town square for such a heinous crime. Luckily, for this garbage human, he stole the briskets in Austin. The city may have an Equity Redistribution Act that makes this legal.
Man breaks in, steals more than 20 briskets from la Barbecue restaurant | KVUEyoutu.be
We have story after story of hardworking Americans having lowlifes trying to destroy their livelihoods. And I understand that Joe Biden's policies have made BBQ prices skyrocket. Side note: Austin is in Travis County.
But even the lowest of lowlife thugs should have some standards. Stealing from a BBQ place? That's worse than robbing a little kids' lemonade stand. It's worse than robbing a church. It's a sacrilege. Twenty briskets at a Texas BBQ joint is an entire morning's worth of briskets!
You can't just run to work, throw some meat in a microwave, and make up for the losses. If done right, at least twelve hours of labor go into each succulent hunk of 'Merican love. Now... it's all gone. Because someone thinks paying for things is for suckers.
Also, what the hell is a guy going to do with twenty undercooked briskets? Is there a street value I'm unaware of? It's a tragedy all around.
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