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This Social Distancing Snitch Discovered His Political Opinion Cures COVID

Brodigan
June 08, 2020

Two months ago, we introduced you to a social media snitch who was, quite frankly, the hero we all deserve. My dude is back with a breakthrough discovery. Turns out COVID-19 aka the Wuhan Flu aka the New York City virus is only transferable if you have a bad political opinion. Science. Says. So.

The Corona Virus Doesn't Spread in Gatherings I Support youtu.be

They've been able to A-B test this with causes I don't support, like religious gatherings and family events. Groups of five bad, but groups of 10,000 good? Running a store bad but looting a store good? I'm not a scientist. But health officials everywhere have experienced the same phenomenon.

Obviously this is a satirical video, but really, not by much. It's basically policy at this point.

So...if 99 people want to protest the shutdown orders or protest against abortion, that’s cool? https://t.co/q1wARCabfC
— Socially DistantAF (@Socially DistantAF)1591385046.0

Living in a liberal state and right outside ground zero for the New York City virus, many of my IRL associates sounded like the non-satirical version of this guy's first video. Say what you will about Facebook, but the "Snooze for 30 Days" option on friends' posts is bae. Those 30 days are now up, and those same people sound like the non-satirical version of this video. Business owners who have been shut down for three months pointing out the hypocrisy are being told, "Yeah, but this is actually important." Also, nuts to anyone who lost a loved one during that time. They couldn't hold a service in a church, but more than ten people were allowed to burn that church. For social justice!

As I've said, either one of two things is going to happen. Either there is not going to be an outbreak, and people's livelihoods were destroyed for no reason whatsoever. Or there is going to be an outbreak, and a state that just started to let people get back to work is going to tell them they can't again. Which if they try, they're going to be told I'm just staging a protest for Bofa.

Bofa deez nuts.

Protest Hypocrisy and Covid Insanity | Louder With Crowder youtu.be

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