A drunken thief in Mexico f***ed around and found out while trying to rob a church in downtown Monterrey. The thief, 32-year-old Carlos Alonso, allegedly hopped a fence and broke a glass door to enter Christ the King Parish.

He then tried to leave with a statue of St. Michael the Archangel but tripped and impaled himself on St. Michael's sword. Seriously.

The Mexican newspaper Milenio reported the man entered the Church looking for valuables, but his intoxication blurred his vision and caused him to stumble and impale his neck on St Michael's sword.

Local residents told ABC Noticias the thief didn't realize who he was messing with in regard to St. Michael. Lupita, a seller from a nearby herb shop, told the newspaper, "That happened to him for doing bad things (...) San Miguel is for protection, it's to fight evil, I think that's why that happened to him."

Lupita's neighbor, who sells religious items, added, "He [St. Michael] is the great protector. In the articles that we sell, he is included here, and he is a protector of homes, and that is why he tells people that maybe that is why he saved the Parish."

Bystanders spotted the wounded thief and called for help. Alonso was reportedly fainting and had difficulty speaking. The Monterrey Civil Protection personnel saved his life and took him to the University hospital for treatment, though he initially refused to be transferred. After he recovers, he's expected to be turned over to the public prosecutor's office to determine his punishment.

Alonso seriously injured his neck, but the statue of St. Michael was unharmed. I'm not sure I've ever seen a better example of poetic justice. Stealing in general is already evil, but if you're trying to rob a church, expect to feel the full wrath of God come down upon you. Perhaps in the form of a stone sword, wielded by a warrior angel who cast Satan into Hell for all of eternity.

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