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June 16, 2020
Shake Shack Employees Accused of Poisoning NYPD Officers. Here's How Shake Shack is Explaining It...
This was bound to happen. Especially in New York City, where people can attack police officers with the full support of Mayor de Blasio and everyone on the city council except for the few Republicans on it (see THIS BIG STUPID IDIOT RECORDED HIMSELF VERBALLY ATTACKING NYPD [VIDEO] and WATCH: NYPD ASSAULTED BY PUNKS WITH BUCKETS OF WATER). With all the venom being spewed at police, employees of Shake Shack tried poisoning three police officers. Allegedly.
BREAKING: Three #NYPD Officers may have been poisoned tonight after purchasing beverages at the Shake Shack on Broa… https://t.co/XM5RWJeLHn— NYC Scanner (@NYC Scanner) 1592276011.0
We are horrified by the reports of police officers injured at our 200 Broadway Shack in Manhattan. We are working w… https://t.co/t8DWEtc5z8— SHAKE SHACK (@SHAKE SHACK) 1592279377.0
Now, APPARENTLY, an investigation was conducted and concluded overnight, and investigators found no criminality. Quote: "Investigators believe a cleaning solution used to clean the milkshake machines wasn't fully cleared and may have gotten into the officers' drinks."
If I understand this, an investigation was conducted after hours. After the employees were off shift and most likely sleeping and not answering their phones. Where it was determined that the milkshake machine wasn't properly cleaned of the cleaning solution used to clean the machine. Yet somehow only the three milkshakes served to three NYPD officers were the ones tainted by it.
I suppose this is possible. It's also possible that monkeys might fly out of my butt, fly over to this Shake Shack, and fling their poo at the window. Which wouldn't smell as bad as the bullshit this "investigation" smells like. It sounds to me like the overrated burger chain needs to face a boycott, at least until they close all their stores for a day of sensitivity training.
Prayers for the NYPD and officers across the country.
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