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Portland is gonna Portland. Is it a crime-invested hellhole? Sure. Drug-infested? You bet. Portland is so weird, even the lesbian bars aren't woke enough. It seems like a horrible place to live, but when all you care about is cheap content, it's the greatest city in America. Like watching an Antifa dufus being wheeled away on a hand truck because he thought refusing to walk would have stumped ICE officers. And I know what you're thinking... yes, this is what I voted for.

Make sure the volume is on when you watch. I'm sure you could have guessed they would have used Chamillionaire's "Ridin'" as the background music. But it's still funny.

If I could offer one critique, I could have used more of a narrative. There is obviously a backstory to what Chester here was arrested for, and how he refused to comply with the officers when they told him to walk this way. Where is that video? And where did the handtruck come from? Does ICE travel with one just in case? Or, while Agent Chad tried to get the guy to stand, Agent Other Chad said, "I've got an idea" when he happened to notice the cart off in the distance?

And what about after the arrest? Did Chester cry and soil himself once he realized how angry his mommy and daddy were going to be? I'd have to imagine that when daddy gets back from playing disc golf with mommy's boyfriend, he'll be quite cross with Chester. Chester might even be grounded. Or worse, he has to microwave his own Pizza Rolls from now on.

It's hard to know for sure what happened to Chester. However, we do have answers to the two most essential questions: Chester's pronouns and how he identifies.

Chester is going to be embarrassed when he goes back to school today. Or, now that I think about it, he might be celebrated as a conquering hero. After all... It's Portland.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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