New York this week has edged out California for the crazy trophy. Just for this week, though. It's only Tuesday, give it time. The city responsible for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and both of her googley eyes announced a ban on the term "illegal alien" but only if the term is used as a pejorative.

From The Hill:

New York City has banned the term “illegal alien” when it is used "with intent to demean, humiliate or harass a person” and instituted fines up to $250,000 for the offense.

Lemme get this straight. If I walk up to my work bro, Brodigan, who hails from Upstate New York, and we're in New York City to... I dunno, eat pizza, and I call him "illegal alien" in efforts to mock his beard, I could be fined? Or am I only fined if Brodigan decides he feels properly burned? What if his beard takes offense on his behalf? What if instead of writing a fat check, I use two middle fingers and point them skyward?

The city’s Commission on Human Rights released new guidelines last week to define discrimination on the basis of perceived or actual immigration status or national origin in public accommodations, employment or housing.

Oh so this infringement on free speech because ouchie my feelings got a boo-boo, only applies in public accommodations, employment or housing. So one could deny a foreign person a rental application but one cannot cite "is illegal alien" on the reasons why because HALP, MOMMY, HALP! HE CALLED ME AN ILLLLEEEEEEGAL!

The guidance bans discrimination or harassment against someone for their limited English proficiency or use of another language.

So... illegal Canadians can be insulted? You telling me I can walk up to some Trudeau fanboy and mock him until someone cares about Tim Hortons? Maybe I'm okay with this law after all. So long as I can mock the syrup slurpers with abandon. Samesies to our distant cousins across the pond with a penchant for bad dental. Since we're talking about only slighting those limited in the English language department.

Also, yes, if you threaten to call ICE on some of these hurty MoFos, you could face a legal spanking. You might also incur the wrath of Daddy Government by insisting people around you speak the language of these United States. Here, examples have been provided:

Hypothetical examples of this kind of discrimination were provided in the commission’s 29-page directive. They included a hotel prohibiting housekeepers from speaking another language because it would “offend” guests or a store owner telling customers speaking Thai to “speak English” or “go back to your country."

So insults of any kind are just a no, then. Same city also has laws against misgendering people for much the same reason: hurt feelings. Good luck proving intent on some of this crap.

Listen, assholes run the gambit. They're everywhere, especially driving slow in the left lane. That is if they figured out how to get on the freeway without causing a seven-car pileup. You are the people who need self-driving cars, my god. Most decent people hate most assholes. An asshole is a rude, loud, inconsiderate boof button who cares only of himself. But we cannot legislate rude people. I'm not even sure telling someone "Hey, please speak English so as not to make our customers uncomfortable" is rude so much as it's calling out rudeness. Assholes hate it when they're told they're assholes.

Because yes, ILLEGAL ALIENS can be downright rude. They are here without being invited in, and they remain even though to remain is breaking the law. Such people aren't always the most courteous bunch. In fact, many are the assholes alluded to in the paragraph above. Read: Man Who Brutally Raped and Murdered a Woman is Illegal Alien, Deported Twice.

Banning people from using a term, whatever the term, is not only stupid, it's against the First Amendment of these great United States. The same country these illegal aliens want to be a part of. New York City just needs a swift kick in the pants via a lawsuit. Until then, I think everyone in NYC should call everyone else "ILLEGAL ALIEN" just for the triggering.

Ball's in your court, California.

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