California is suing oil companies claiming they're responsible for all the climate change in America. I know, you're shocked it's California (see Jerry Brown: Trump Supporters are ‘Cave-Dwellers’ for Denying Climate Change… and California Wildfires Are YOUR Fault, Says Climate Change “Expert” Governor…). The same California which may also put a warning label on coffee, while not giving two toots about passing on HIV.

The Church of Climate Justice is calling this lawsuit the Scopes Monkey Trial for the climate. We're calling it the mother of all frivolous lawsuits which could royally screw the people of California. But blasphemers be condemned, hanged from giant sequoias.

On Tuesday, a case in California could do for climate change what the Scopes trial did for evolution. Last September, San Francisco and Oakland filed major lawsuits against five of the world’s largest oil companies — BP, Chevron, ConocoPhillips, Exxon Mobil, and Shell.

All of those companies are constantly being sued for making large and sometimes permanent environmental messes. But the people of California aren’t suing BP and co. for spills, explosions, or other easily traceable disasters. Rather, they’re suing because those companies:

- knew about climate change decades ago,

- continued doing business as usual, and

- engaged in a world-wide public relations campaign to sow confusion over climate science.

California says the companies have been using deception to profit as the planet warms, and they should pay for the infrastructure the state needs to protect itself against rising sea levels.

It'll be interesting how they prove the oil companies are responsible. When we can't agree on climate change in the first place. And no, saying "Maybe there's more to climate science than people=bad" is not the same as "The earth is flat." I know you worry warts on Twitter like to take complex issues and make them simpler than a stick drawing you etch into the stall door while making a number two. But the climate of the planet isn't as simple as your potty-time doodles.

Now, regardless of where you line up on climate change = people suck, here's a question we should all ask the Californians hitting the SUE button. How have they personally transported themselves to their tantric yoga classes? Teleportation? Unicycle? Or with cars fueled with gasoline, a product of the oil companies they're suing? I know as human beings we're all naturally hypocritical, but come on now. Last I checked, Califonia was not fueled by puppy's breath. I have a hard time mustering sympathy for California in this case when all the jets flying into and out of LAX and SFO are fueled with high octane petroleum, not recycled hair clippings from Jerry Brown's barbershop visits.

Secondly, let's pretend for a second insanity will prevail. As it has with the transgender bathroom debate and the mental state of Hillary Clinton...'s staff. Let's say the suit goes through. Let's say the People's Republic of Oh F*ck This is Embarrassing wins. What do you think the effects will be on the price of gasoline? Who will be most affected by the negative repercussions of The People's Republic of We Like to Use Oil but Oil is Mean?

Here's what the article says:

If San Francisco and Oakland win their respective suits, the five oil giants might have to pay billions of dollars into an “abatement fund,” a reserve that the cities can use to pay for seawalls and other infrastructure to protect their citizens against rising oceans.

So it's nothing but a money grab. Bankrupt California is looking to tap dat gas ass.

And if California wins this, the Give a Mouse a Cookie rule applies. California will reach its grabby hands for MOAR money. Lather, rinse and GTFO of California if you can.

Think about it. Then go to pick up a massive book titled Atlas Shrugged. 

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