Listed below is what some of us like to refer to as "evidence." Elizabeth Warren has long said she never used her American Indian "heritage" to get ahead. Which we knew was just as truthful as the half-moon smiling at Little Beaver. Trigger-warning: really bad and distasteful Indian jokes to follow. Goes to relevance of the subject matter. Well here we have proof Pow Wow Chow Elizabeth Warren made heap big lie. Her registration from the Texas Bar clearly shows she listed her race as American Indian.

I can't wait for Trump's tweet about this. I'm peeing myself. Not literally but metaphorically peeing myself in anticipation for his tweets, his poor capitalization, and the chance for an incredible new word which will trend all day and some people will change their Twitter names to reflect.

We always knew Elizabeth Warren's moccasins were made from pleather. We knew her feather headdress was sourced from feather dusters. Her war drums purchased at Fisher Price. Her face paint was nothing but shoe polish. Borrowed from fellow racist Democrat Ralph Northam. Allegedly.

Now we have hard evidence Squaw Lizzy Pale Face Warren racially appropriated American Indians, fully took advantage of a heritage which was never hers, to further her career. What a trail of tears.

So you tell me which is worse: my tasteless jokes which go no further than mocking the Fauxcohantas, or the appropriating Squaw herself?

The good news is, should the presidential thing get tomahawked, Lizzie Running Lies has a career in the culinary arts.

It gets better:

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