Even though the worst of this hurricane was always going to be south of my area, the news was telling me I should expect my house in pieces. Weeks without power. Water up to my nips. That's why I stockpiled enough beef jerky and munitions to get me through the inevitable lawlessness that would follow the "storm of the century."

Instead, I spent a good part of my day in northeast North Carolina outside. Nice and dry. Enjoying the light breeze. Obviously, my fellow Carolinians down south weren't as lucky this time around, and my heart goes out to them.

Though, you can't help but wonder if the media is sensationalizing these storms to boost their ratings.

Especially when you see things like this:

Yep, that just happened:

Weather Channel guy is making like Florence is going to send him airborne any second. Meanwhile, the two bros in the background are casually strolling along without a care. Pretty much unaffected by the winds. On their way for some beer.

Now, before you accuse me of trying to downplay this storm, take a breath. Obviously, hurricanes come with a lot of flooding and people do lose their lives. Though, there's a big difference between "the storm to end all storms" and a fairly "business as usual" hurricane.

I have family who put pedal to metal toward the high ground in West Virginia because meteorological authority types like Wetty McWindbreaker here told us we were all going to die. Right now, I'm sitting comfy in my recliner at home. They're at risk of getting Deliverance-ed and dealing with the scourge of "racist" hotel shampoo. All thanks to the weather-industrial complex, hellbent on exaggerating these storms to boost ratings.

Sensationalism like this proves fake news isn't limited to the political sphere. The Weather Channel isn't putting Jim Cantore in the middle of the storm because "it's windy and wet" gives us extra insight. It's because people are more likely to tune in when there's a chance of seeing Jimbo impaled by a flying patio umbrella.

The weathermen are just as hungry for ratings as MSNBC. If they have to exaggerate and outright lie to pump up their numbers, so be it.

Next, they'll be claiming this "superstorm" is because of climate change:

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