The Cookie Monster has failed. As has the knife collecting bin. That whole "Knife-free" chicken box campaign may as well have been written in sand. Because below is one bloke with a huge knife stabbing the crap out of some other bloke. You people in the United Kingdom really need to think outside the #knifefree chicken box. Clearly.

Here's the thing: video of the stabbing was REMOVED by Twitter somehow, or because of the Gloucester police's request. But you can watch it via LiveLeak below:

The video shows one man stabbing the crap out of the other man, with a couple of blokes trying to stop it. No police were on the scene at the time of the incident.

First, let's honor the brave souls who tried (and succeeded) in stopping this stabbing spree. My hat tippith in your general direction. Twas brave to take on He With a Massive Slice Device.

Second, who else noticed little English was spoken in a country from which the English language hails? Which means many of these fine people are likely not from the country where they've chosen to play Sweeney Todd Barber of Fleet Street. The conclusion I've chosen to draw here is we have a few asylum seekers from lands where stabbing isn't as frowned upon when one needs to settle a difference. Why sit down like gentleman over a plate of tea and scones (you thought I'd write crumpets, bait and switched your bums, didn't I), when you can unsheathe a kitchen cutter and do your mate Julianne.

Third, every single campaign to end knife crime, as I stated in the opening paragraph, is shite bollocks. Yes, yes I am trying to write this entire post in an English accent. How I'm I fairing?

Maybe if the fine folks of England realized it's not the tool but the people wielding it that was the problem, they'd be in less of a mess. Because as evidenced here, just saying "knives bad" isn't doing them a lick of good.

But hey, what do I know? I'm just a yankee with the right to carry a blaster.

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