Answering what seems to be an unending cascade of complaints about the gender pay gap, US Soccer released some numbers about how much the female identifying players get paid in comparison to the male identifying players. Yes, I'm using "male identifying" in jest. Shocking to no one who cares more about any other sport besides soccer, female soccer players are actually paid more in than the men. It all comes down to... wait for it... personal choices. This time in pay structure.

The money shots:

"Over the past decade, US Soccer has paid our Women's National Team more than our Men's National Team. From 2010 through 2018, US Soccer paid our women $34.1 million in salaries and game bonuses, and we paid our men $26.4 million--not counting the significant additional value of various benefits that our women's players receive but which our men do not."

The difference comes in internationally, regards what FIFA pays its male and female players. But even that is kind of a wash. The women's team was paid $39 million and the men $40 million.

So I'm not sure why the commotion. Actually I have some theories, but read Dear Feminists: The Pay Gap Isn't Real. You Just Suck.

Women take their money differently than men take their money. In US Soccer, the women players have negotiated to take money that's guaranteed, where have not. In this case, on the books at least, the women are paid more than the men. Because the United States doesn't worship soccer like the Europeans, soccer players here just aren't paid what they are overseas. For the same reason female basketball players aren't paid as much as male basketball players: audience! It's not sexism, it's math.

But the math is honest. The numbers don't lie. Women soccer players are paid well. Very well. Some may say too much considering few of us paid attention to women's soccer were it not for the World Cup which many of us only watched so we could see a good old fashioned America versus Britain beatdown. See also UK Installs Knife Surrender Bin to Curb Knife Crime. Criminals Stole All the Knives.

Which means the US women's soccer players crying about "equal pay" are crying for all the wrong reasons. My question is, will they fork over some of their earnings to their dudely counterparts for equality? I shan't hold my breath.

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