Cops and robbers were a childhood staple for those of us who didn't have parachute adorned, floral printed parents. Added to the fun were loud cracking cap guns, tying up your brother, and maybe even leaving him bound while you went and ate lunch. Good times.

For some children in Buffalo, those good times dead. Murdered. The community is apparently hosting a toy gun exchange to keep such "dangerous" specimens away from the munchkins. In case you needed another reason to hate 2017:

“This is a cap gun and it sounds real,” said Leonard Lane.

Hey, loud noises are almost as scary as the makeup-less face of Pelosi.

“Whatever you put in a child’s hands that’s what he feels comfortable with and you put a toy gun in his hands at an early age and when he gets older he’s going to want the real thing,” said Leonard Lane, president of Buffalo F.A.T.H.E.R.S organization.

I had a cap gun and I never - oh wait, never mind. So some kids might grow up and want the real thing. But I see no argument for why possessing a self defense tool against deadness and rapage is bad. These parents have little interest in actual discussion, though. They just want to ban all the things.

That’s why Lane is encouraging parents to give up their child’s toy guns this Christmas and exchange it for a different toy, as part of the annual Toy Gun Exchange at the Delavan Grider community center.

“Little kids like to play cops and robbers but you know in the environment we live in, there’s so much violence in this world that there’s so many other options for kids to have fun,” said Capt. Steve Nichols with Buffalo police.

Options like transgender camp, microaggression training, or a hardy round of hormone therapy.

“Put something better in their hands, something that can better the child. They need to get something a book, a football, something that can better them make them a more productive citizen in society,” said Darryl Scott, Outreach supervisor with Buffalo S.N.U.G.

No. Books cause paper cuts. Football causes concussions and social justice syndrome. Just give them an iPad and let them access porn on YouTube. Better options.

We can't have children running around outside socializing in a game of cops and robbers. We must wrap them in bubble wrap, feed them Cheetos, and seat them in front of a gay show explaining why they are fat victims. And later, when they may find themselves helpless victims of actual assault? Too bad. Guns are mean and scary. #Progress

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