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Professor Shoots Himself to Protest Trump
When we say "the left is crazy" we don't mean it as a challenge. The statement shouldn't be a jumping off point for leftists to out crazy each other. A point I think needs to be made in light of this professor, who shot himself to own the MAGA.
A longtime College of Southern Nevada sociology professor is facing felony gun charges in connection with an on-campus shooting on the second day of classes.
Mark J. Bird was charged last month with discharging a gun within a prohibited structure, carrying a concealed weapon without a permit and possessing a dangerous weapon on school property, court records show. He was found bleeding from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to his arm about 8:15 a.m. on Aug. 28 outside a bathroom in the Charleston campus K building.
This man is teaching your young babes at an institution of "higher learning." We can debate the merits of sociology as a study at another time. What shouldn't be debatable is instituting psyche exams for professors with access to classrooms. Tenured or not.
Here's the kicker. It took about nine paragraphs for the original story to get to what motivated Professor Bird to shoot his own self. Not without thinking it through properly though.
Inside the bathroom, campus police found a $100 bill taped to a mirror along with a note that said, “For the janitor,” according to Bird’s arrest report. On the floor of the restroom was a black-and-white, .22-caliber pistol and one spent shell casing.
So at least Professor Cray Cray is polite. Offering a tip for cleaning up the bloody mess. Ten points for courtesy. Negative ten points for motive.
You would think a man such as this, who thought out his move enough in advance to go pull a Franklin from the ATM, would not be stupid enough to shoot himself because of a president we've now had for nearly two years. Alas, you'd be mistaken.
One college employee told police that he held Bird’s hand to calm him down as others tried to stop the bleeding. While waiting for authorities to arrive, Bird said he had shot himself in protest of President Donald Trump, police noted in their report. The report did not elaborate.
The report did not elaborate. Well no, how could it?
Officer 1: Sir, why did you shoot yourself?
Bird: Because of Trump!
Officer 1: ... *calls dispatch* Yeah, need backup and a white straight jacket. Send a padded van.
Officer 2: How are we writing this in a report?
Officer 1: We're not. You can't get in trouble for shit you don't say.
Officer 2: What about the crazy eye emoji?
Incidentally, if you think protesting a president by harming yourself is a good idea, please seek professional help. Also, if you, for whatever reason, decide not to seek professional help and wish to harm yourself to own the MAGA, at least make the injury funnier than a gun-shot wound. I don't want to be accused of encouraging this kind of derangement, but perhaps standing under a bucket of your own pee pee, then dumping it on yourself. Or protesting MAGA by setting a MAGA hat on fire. While you're wearing it. Just ideas. No guts, no glory.