Dear people who falsely hold themselves out to be tolerant,

Okay leftists, when was the last time you took the figurative hand of a conservative to listen to their ideas with that alleged open-mind of yours? I mean actually listened without using the "you're a racist, sexist, bigot, homophobe, transphobe, islamophobe" ad hominem attack? Exactly, thanks for proving my point. You and I? Turns out we don't want the same things. The same things being freedom, peaceful discourse, life, liberty, and justice for all. Which is why I must say with no sadness: we're not friends. You are but little crapweasels.

Please excuse the liberal usage of self-answered questions, but they're important to prove a point. Do I believe in a forum of ideas? Yes. Fully. Do I believe in honest debate? Of course. Open dialogue? For sure. Actual dialogue and not red-faced, CableNews shouting matches? Yes. A million times yes.

But don't confuse my civility for agreement or endorsement. Nor defeat. Leftists and conservatives cannot and should not join hands to sing "We are the World." For the record? You leftists aren't reaching across any aisles. You're just asking us to. So that nose you hold high thinking you're tolerant, ever-loving Care Bears? All you're smelling is your own pompous ass. A rather large one, might I add. It's okay, I can fat-shame. I'm a conservative.

This whole idea of bipartisanship is empty virtue signaling at its finest. I'd like to note it's you leftist ninnymuggins who are constantly asking demanding that conservatives compromise our positions to mold with yours. To which I say:

Conservatives needn't cede our positions and should never feel compelled to give ground to you baby-killing, terrorist sympathizers. Not for the feels or bipartisanship. What's so good about finding common ground... with evil?

Yes, I said it. Many of leftism's tenets are evil. But let me make a distinction between the practitioners of leftism and leftism itself. Are all leftists evil? Of course not. In fact many have never seen conservatism presented, what with the constant indoctrination of leftism through school, media, and after school daycare. Heck, it basically starts from the womb (provided your mother didn't suck you down a tube to begin with, because "choice"). Even as teenagers, some leftists were relegated to after school daycare. So many a leftist are just a leftist by default. In today's society, leftism is the easy, safe, default position.

But leftism itself is evil. Why? Glad you asked.

1. Leftism calls for the destruction of the First Amendment. Because disagreements? Cannot be tolerated. Ideas that are not leftism? Do away with them.
2. Revoking a child's right to life simply because she is unborn and her mother and/or father may not want to care for her (for pick your reason)? Pure evil. Yes, always. Taking an innocent human life is always evil.
3. Which leads me into a segue for the Second Amendment, which leftism also despises. Yes, the left calls for the complete disarmament of the populace. Especially disarming innocent, law-abiding people of a means to protect themselves from the unlawful.
4. There is no moral righteousness to be found in the removal of freedoms simply for the sake of collectivism. It doesn't create more compassion. It absolves people of it. What's so compassionate about stealing/spending someone else's money?

I could give more examples, but why? The point is there are too many positions in leftism which are incompatible with freedom. Freedom, by the way, is the goal of conservatism. There's no reason to feign agreement here, so spare yourself the leftist tantrums. That energy could be better spent elsewhere. Like, say, the elliptical. Yes, fat-shaming again.

See, libertarians, conservatives, constitutionalists, even populist Trumpists can find some common ground, as we generally want the same things, through different means: freedom to live lawfully, worship our God, follow our moral codes, and carry on unencumbered without an increasingly oppressive government.

The modern left does not want the same things as the rest of Americans. The goal of leftism is always sameness. Where no one is better than someone else. 

1. Leftism cannot survive in a country where everyone is self-sufficient, responsible and free. A populace which survives on its own has no need to look to government to save it.
2. Leftists do not WANT a country with secure borders; they need a constant stream of victims coming across the border for whom they can "gift" tax dollars in the form of "benefits," which actually render them dependent on the government teet.
3. Leftists do not WANT this country to be different from the rest of the world, for America being different in our own American way, makes America special. Makes America better. To the left, there is nothing more dangerous than better.

What the left does want?

1. European style socialism. Sameness. They want misery spread equally. They do not want special, they do not want great. The left also wants European style open borders and the welcoming of refugees. So we can all be the same. In the case of refugees, they'd rather we'd be equally raped of our persons and our beliefs.
2. Yes, leftists want the policing of speech. Because, as stated above, expressing ideas which are not leftism is a threat to leftism itself. They cannot have civil discourse where differing opinions are offered. Why not? Because to the unindocrinated ear, a conservative idea, once fully formed and articulated, is a dangerous idea. Freedom to live as you wish without government? Dangerous. Freedom to be different? Catastrophic.
3. Which is also why the left wants entrepreneurs to be punished. Entrepreneurs dared forge their own path without government. Worse, they often forge that path through or around government obstacles, put there to hinder their success. A person who succeeded without (or in spite of) government is a person to be feared and demonized by government.

So no, you intolerant leftist turd mongrels. We cannot be friends. Oh sure, we can be "civil" to one another. We can engage in dialogue, and should. Civilly. As in you don't call for the banning of ideas or speakers which do not mirror your socialist ideas (read Tolerance? Ben Shapiro Banned from Speaking at Liberal University...). The problem is you've demonstrated that you are incapable of doing that. You resort to name-calling, violence, or outright banning ideas which don't fall in line with your own. While claiming the mantle of tolerance and diversity.

Which is why if you want to be friends? That one is up to you. Stop acting like petulant, soiled diapered little brats and maybe we can talk. Maybe start by not splashing urine on us. Just an idea.

Written by Courtney Kirchoff and Steven Crowder