The creepy porn lawyer is looking for a new nickname. Besides the Democrat nominee for 2020. Michael Avenatti was arrested today for allegedly smacking his ex-wife in the kisser. But it's okay, she hit him first. From TMZ:

Our law enforcement sources say Avenatti was arrested Wednesday after his estranged wife filed a felony DV report. We're told her face was "swollen and bruised."

The slap boxing allegedly happened yesterday, when the Creepy Wife Smacker kicked the Ex-Missus out of his bachelor pad. From the sounds of it, when Mrs. Former Avenatti went back to get her crap, Mike insisted she hit him first, so the b*tch totally deserved it.

We're told security brought her inside the building and Michael showed up 5 minutes later, ran into the building, chasing after her. He screamed repeatedly, "She hit me first." We're told he angrily added, "This is bulls***, this is f***ing bulls***."

And they say romance is dead.

Now I don't know who hit who first, but I thought violence was never the answer. What about de-escalating the situation? Avenatti should've just retaliated with a hashtag.

Also, this tweet. Just revel in the beauty of it:

Conventional political wisdom says this domestic abuse charge will spoil Big Mike's presidential aspirations. I'd press pause on that theory, considering Avenatti will likely run as a Democrat. The party of Ted Kennedy, who "accidentally" left a woman to drown (totally understandable, I mean who hasn't accidentally killed someone?); Bill Clinton of Monica Lewinski and Juanita Broaddrick fame; and Keith Ellison the deputy chair of the DNC, who the left still hasn't condemned for what looks like a credible abuse allegation. #BelieveAllWomen my ass.

2020 is two years away, babes. Avenatti has plenty of time to massage this charge into a resume-enhancement.

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