How unlucky must one be? Imagine: You're driving down the road intent on pulling someone over, impersonating a police officer. Who knows why someone would do this, but let's just say that's a thought that popped into your mind. You see all those cars going down the road and finally decide, "That one! I want to pull over that guy!" And then, when you get that dude pulled over and walk up beside the vehicle in your half-assed uniform, you come to find that you pick what was probably the only vehicle within miles that happened to be driven by an off-duty cop. That's some sh*tty luck.

And that was the luck of a man named Jose Flores Ortiz, who did this exact thing this past weekend in Brighton, Colorado. A Facebook post from the Brighton Police Department describes the entire thing in detail.

Dipweed was arrested and charged with a litany of crimes.

• Impersonating a police officer
• Prohibited use of a weapon
• Driving under the influence
• Reckless driving
• Use or possession of red or blue lights
• Illegal possession or consumption of alcohol in a motor vehicle.

Oh, so he was drunk! Still not a good idea. The department is reaching out to the community, presumably to see if this guy has pulled his stunt on other motorists who weren't off-duty police officers.

Would anyone actually believe this guy was a cop, though?

I don't care what your badge looks like, I'm not going to believe you're a cop if your lip is pierced while on duty. What a clown. And that's not even taking into account the scorpion neck tattoo. Stick to safe, fun impersonations like Donald Trump, Brian Stelter, and Kamala Harris.

The moral of the story: Cops and robbers, much like Trix cereal, is just for kids. If you're trying to play the adult version, you can expect to end up in jail.

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