Some universal truths everyone should know: never play cards with someone who has two first names; Epstein didn't kill himself; if you break into someone's home, don't break into the home of an off-duty officer. Because they usually have guns. And will shoot you. Such a thing happened to a man in Kansas City, Missouri who made a big boo-boo.

The officer, who has been with KCPD for 20 years and currently works in the patrol division, told investigators he heard noises downstairs, went to check it out and saw a man he didn’t recognize in his kitchen.

“Fearing for his safety, he fired multiple shots at that male who then ran from the scene in an unknown direction,” Becchina explained.

Police are keeping tabs at local hospitals in case someone with a gunshot wound shows up at an emergency room, although it’s unclear if bullets from the officer’s gun actually hit the suspected intruder.

The thing about the Second Amendment is you never know who's armed and who's a vegan making soy candles in recycled pickle jars (see Armed 79-Year-Old Woman Fends Off Home Intruder: “…I’ll Blow Your Brains Out!” and Gun-Toting Grandma Opens Fire on Home Intruders). It's what experts and scholars call "a deterrent." The basic premise is to deter criminal boneheads from breaking into homes. Your home. My home. Personally speaking, if I knew there was a chance I might get shot while snooping around someone else's kitchen in the middle of the night, in search of the perfect Chicken Parm, I wouldn't do it. Trader Joes is a thing. Setting aside that stealing is frowned upon and I would never commit a B&E for a midnight snickel-snack. Still, how good is your Chicken Parm and why did you tempt me with leftovers? Sometimes crime is 50/50.

But say you're not me and you've made other life decisions up to and including believing Colin Kaepernick is just woefully misunderstood and deserves a second to the seventh power chance. Such questionable judgment may leave you feeling like breaking into someone's home is worth the risk of two in the chest, one in the leg as you're running away like a little biyatch. If that's the case, and I can't stop you, some advice: do a better job casing the joint. There's a chance any homeowner will have a gun. But in the case of an off-duty police officer, the odds are shots fired, shots fired.

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