Hillary Clinton appeared on Howard Stern's radio program today because she's totally not running for president again, you guys. So stop it with your weird conspiracies that aren't secret hopes of a 2016 repeat. If that wasn't the best night of our lives, what was? So anyway, Hillary dons a royal blue velvet tarp and saunters onto Howard Stern's show. She is just like us. On the show, she discusses all things politics, how she loves Jeffrey Epstein's best bud, Bill Clinton, and that she's totally not a lesbian and hasn't even considered it.

All right, let's just say that women can be very close friends. That's fine. Heck, I have a friend I call "my wife." We joke about being "together" all the time. We've never actually met, we have a phone only correspondence. As in we actually talk on the phone, not just texting. It's still a thing.

But I am throwing a double-standard penalty flag when Robin Quivers says men can pal around and not be accused of gayness. That's patently false. If two men are good buddies, they get accused of being gay all the time. Let's be real.

But back to the ice queen. Let's not pretend Hillary is anything other than a liar, a confirmed witch, and probably a lesbian. I detected a little doth protesting too much methinks in her insistence she's never once been tempted. Are we really supposed to believe Huma is just a friend? Huma who married Anthony Weiner? B*tch, please.

Here's another thing you need to know about ladies: women are gorgeous. Full disclosure, I have a little girl crush on Gal Gadot. I've admitted this on Morning Grinders if not other places. That woman is damn fine and if she and I were sitting at a bar, and she held eye contact with me, I'd probably buy her a drink. I'm sorry if that makes my mother feel uncomfortable. No, it wouldn't go further than a drink and me giggling as I looked upon her unmatched beauty, but if I've thought about how gorgeous Gal is, there's no possible way Hillary Clinton hasn't taken it seven steps further. She did marry Bill Clinton, after all.

You know what, I'm not even sorry.

So I don't believe Hillary. I would've believed her had she said what I did above and admitted that sure, some women are pretty hot, but "I can't see it with anyone other than a dude." I'm not attracted to women either. Except Gal. But only Gal. I have a type of man. It's tall, strapping, dark-haired, typically brooding, usually accented. Not always, but usually. By the way, not an unusual thing to like tall, dark and handsome men. Kind of typical for us ladies.

Just a small clue

But Hillary having to say it, that's what's weird. Most of us ladies needn't repeat the point we like dudes. Or spend the rest of of the Howard Stern interview insisting we're totally straight by going on and on and on and on and on about the list of dudes we dated before marriage. As Hillary did in the Howard Stern interview. It was just... too much. It was too much insistence she was straight.

Because here's another thing. It's 2019. Who cares if Hillary is a lesbian?

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