Meanwhile in Karma is Real, Michael Avenatti, the aptly titled "creepy porn lawyer" for Stormy Daniels and once presidential contender according to totally not at all a raging homosexual, Brian Stelter, has been indicted by a grand jury for not one but 36 federal indictments. Including but not limited to: failure to pay taxes, stealing money from clients, being a walking scrotum face. I added the last one.

From The AP:

Attorney Michael Avenatti could face a sentence of 335 years in prison if convicted of charges in a 36-count federal indictment.

335 YEARS?

That's a lot of prison rape.

The indictment announced Thursday in Los Angeles alleges Avenattti stole millions of dollars from clients, didn’t pay taxes, committed bank fraud and lied during bankruptcy proceedings.

Oh, is that all?

The charges also say Avenatti pocketed payroll taxes from employees of the Tully’s coffee chain that he owned.

He took money from people just slinging coffee bean juice? Oh my goodness, what a piece of shit. Methinks Michael Avenatti deserves his own Piece of Sh*t segment on the Louder with Crowder show, right alongside his co-piece of shit, the totally not a raging homosexual pool boy, Brian Stelter. If you want to see this segment, do tweet @scrowder.

Here comes the part where I reassure you that you're not a bad person for reveling in the suffering of such a wanton douchebag. Michael Avenatti did tell the ladies of The View that all his fantasies include handcuffs. All this story proves is that if you wish hard enough, if you visualize your goals, if you are, in fact, the greatest turd patty not floating in a toilet, you too could earn yourself a possible 300-year prison sentence.

Never give up on your dreams, my babies.

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