The only thing more boring than playing chess is watching people play chess. Though, it would appear people who compete in chess at a competitive level like to wild out as we've learned with a now former world chess champion. He was stripped of his title after taking a dookie in a bathtub. And that doesn't even get into the anal beads scandal.

"But Brodigan, the chess anal beads scandal was from last year."

No, this is a SECOND time anal beads have come up in the world of competitive chess. And LOL, you said "butt."

Yan Chenglong defeated dozens of competitors in a ferocious Chinese Chess competition, earning the title of Xiangqi King. His reign was short-lived. Chenglong celebrated with too much alcohol and, if I were to guess, too much Chinese food.

"Yan consumed alcohol with others in his room on the night of the 17th, and then he defecated in the bathtub of the room he was staying in on the 18th, in an act that damaged hotel property, violated public order and good morals, had a negative impact on the competition and the event of Xiangqi, and was of extremely bad character."

The Chinese Xiangqi Association, the governing body of Chinese chess, was also forced to address allegations of Chenglong's use of anal beads. But not just any anal beads. Electronic anal beads, that were able to transmit and receive electronic signals. In his ass.

The claim is that Chenglong would clench and unclench, based on where the pieces were on the chessboard. His rhythmic sphincter use would send signals to a computer, which would then send back signals in the form of "vibrations" as to where Chenglong should stick his chess pieces. One can only assume, if this were true, it would take a great amount of training with the vibrating anal beads to know what vibration was what (what, in the butt).

Per the CXA, it is impossible to determine if Chenglong used anal beads to cheat. It may BE possible, but no one wanted to volunteer.

This is the second time anal beads have been rumored to question the integrity of competitive chess. In an accusation helped spread by Elon Musk last year, an American competitor also used anal beads -- and an accomplice -- to cheat. Apropos of nothing, the American competitor believed to cheat using anal beads was from San Francisco.

One can only imagine what 2024 brings in the way of anal bead-related chess content.

><><><><><><

Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

Facebook doesn't want you reading this post or any others lately. Their algorithm hides our stories and shenanigans as best it can. The best way to stick it to Zuckerface? Sign up for our DAILY EMAIL BLASTS! They can't stop us from delivering our content straight to your inbox. Yet.

UNDERCOVER EXCLUSIVE: PornHub Prioritizing Profits Over Consent!youtu.be