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Cherokee Nation Responds to Elizabeth Warren's DNA Report with Scathing Statement

Courtney Kirchoff
October 15, 2018

Brace yourselves for an Indian burn you'll never forget. The Cherokee Nation read the smoke signals on Elizabeth Warren's DNA report. They're, how shall we say it... not pleased with Elizabeth Warren's blatant cultural appropriation. Imma let them finish. From their Secretary of State Chuck Hoskin Jr.:

Sovereign tribal nations set their own legal requirements for citizenship, and while DNA tests can be used to determine lineage, such as paternity to an individual, it is not evidence for tribal affiliation," Hoskin continued. "Using a DNA test to lay claim to any connection to the Cherokee Nation or any tribal nation, even vaguely, is inappropriate and wrong. It makes a mockery out of DNA tests and its legitimate uses while also dishonoring legitimate tribal governments and their citizens, whose ancestors are well documented and whose heritage is proven. Senator Warren is undermining tribal interests with her continued claims of tribal heritage.

Shorter Cherokee Nation:

Wait, that's not quite it. Lemme try again.

There, I think that's a little closer. Regardless of what gif you most identify the Cherokee Nation's response, seems Squaw Elizabeth Warren is in heaps big trouble.

By the way, we're employing all these terrible, stereotypical American Indian jokes in mockery of how Elizabeth Warren mocked the American Indian Indigenous Peoples of Tribes, Unity, and Moccasins. It was Elizabeth Warren, not any Republican or conservative that I'm aware, who claimed Cherokee status. For personal gain. I wish I knew an Indian joke for "you f*cked up."

Many will say Elizabeth Warren didn't think this through. I maintain she did, she just overestimated the support she'd get from the suck-up media, so eager to smooch her lily-white keister. She also underestimated the reaction from conservative media. As a member of which, I can attest say today's rather glorious turn. I shall remember this day for many moons, long after my pale face, like Warren's, has slid from relevance.

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