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There are multiple ways in which my man here is the hero we needed today. But at the top of the list? It's the fact that 87-year-old Larry still walks the big city streets all iced out. He's pushing ninety. He's got a $50K Rollie. He's gonna wear it out, and God help you if you step to him.

Some thug learned this the hard way, calling over to Larry's wife, Joanna. Joanna walked up to the car, and the woman in the passenger seat grabbed her wrist. Larry sensed something was up, so he confronted the woman, who then tried to grab the Rolex.

This is where the story takes a turn for the fan-f*cking-tastic.

I gave it a three-quarter turn, the wrist pulled her shoulder to be out of line. Her shoulder was twisted. She started to scream.

She's not going anywhere, because I got her in a reverse twist.

Larry is lucky this happened now, rather than in six months. Had this happened in The Zohran's NYC, a social worker would order him hand over his watch in the name of equity, and then get sentenced to community service. All while the thug gets off without bail, but with a new Rolex.

Larry has a certain swagger about him that says the last f*ck he had to give was left in Hanoi. He returned home after the war, married his sweetheart, and opened a family butcher shop in Howard Beach. The Rollie was a retirement gift, and it will take more than some dingbat who is too lazy to get out of her car to steal it.

God bless you, Larry. With everything going wrong in the world this week, and it's only Monday, we all needed this today.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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