Watch Louder with Crowder every weekday at 11:00 AM Eastern, only on Rumble Premium!

We haven't good "zero tolerence policy fail" content in a minute, and this one is a doozy. A 7-11 employee was being strangled by a customer who said he was going to "slice her head off." So she shot him. As it turns out, per human resources, having a firearm in the store is a bigger violation than being choked to death. The company has since separated her from her employment. AKA, she was sh*t channed, but saying so isn't corporatese enough.

Here's the best part. When the woman, Stephanie Dilyard, asked what she was supposed to do to ensure she wasn't killed by a customer that night?

Dilyard says she was supposed to use 'store items' in self-defense.

Yes, instead of using her legal firearm in self-defense -- side note, Dilyard is protected under Oklahoma's self-defense law, not to mention the Second Amendment -- she should have thrown a Coca Cola Slurpee at him. Then, as the sugar burned his eyes, shove a Cheeseburger Big Bite down his throat. That way, while the thug's arteries slowly started to harden (which starts instantaneously, even though the Cheeseburger Big Bites are f*ing delicious), she could run to safety.

At least this happened in Oklahoma and the thug in question is under arrest, charged with assault and battery, threatening acts of violence, attempting to pass a fake bill, and a felony warrant for violating parole. Had this been New York City or San Francisco, he would be back out on the streets while Dilyard was charged with a felony.

This was a situation where I felt like I was put into a corner between choosing between my job, and my life, and I'm always going to choose my life because there's people that depend on me. Just, I'm going, I'm going home, you know. I need to be here for my kids. ... You have a right to defend yourself.

I'm still stuck on the "use store items in self-defense" thing. Because, if this is official 7-11 policy, shouldn't training in how to do so be a part of onboarding new employees? Is there a list of the ten most deadliest items to be used in case of emergency? Or instructions on how to fashion a nunchuck out of two Taquitos and some paperclips?

When stories like this happen, a camera has to be shoved in either HR's or some other executive's face and have them explain themselves.

><><><><><><

Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

Facebook doesn't want you reading this post or any others lately. Their algorithm hides our stories and shenanigans as best it can. The best way to stick it to Zuckerface? Sign up for our DAILY EMAIL BLASTS! They can't stop us from delivering our content straight to your inbox. Yet.