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November 04, 2022
MMA legend won't stop roasting John Cena over his faux 'inspirational' quotes and it's the best thing on Twitter
Chael Sonnen is a national treasure. He's an All-American, has a blackbelt in BJJ, and a great mind for mixed martial arts. He also has beef with John Cena.
(I wanted a gif of AJ Styles and The Club saying "BEAT UP JOHN CENA" but it doesn't exist)
It may not be "beef" as much as Sonnen can't stand John Cena's social media use. Namely, Cena having his assistant tweet out inspirational quotes they found on the internet in an attempt to make Cena look "deep" or "intellectual." Sonnen can't stop sh*tting on him for it, and it's fantastic.
If I spent the rest of my life with nothing but a dictionary, thesaurus, and something to write with, I will never come up with a better sentence than "It seems to be ridiculing itself; like a perfect organism of stupidity that requires no outside factors to survive."
This quote is so stupid I don't know how to make fun of it.
It seems to be ridiculing itself; like a perfect organism of stupidity that requires no outside factors to survive https://t.co/G0smvHRebJ
— Chael Sonnen (@ChaelSonnen) November 4, 2022
Sonnen is a poet laurete of Twitter roasts.
Each road you travel is full of this or that or whatever
Tolls, stuff like that
The road Cena travels is full of weirdos offering unsolicited advice
Avoid Cena's road https://t.co/ubqurFq4g5
— Chael Sonnen (@ChaelSonnen) October 21, 2022
His descriptive way to paint visuals is unparrelled. You can SEE John Cena doing this.
I imagine this guy in faded boxer shorts, 2-day stubble and mismatched socks sitting in front of a cold coffee and a stale roll yelling at his assistants on the phone to find new fake inspirational quotes https://t.co/syaVCa6U2k
— Chael Sonnen (@ChaelSonnen) October 17, 2022
Chael is also a master of anaologies.
In real life this guy would pick-pocket a guy in a wheelchair on the $2 bet-line at the dog-track
Beware those who preach morality too much https://t.co/a1AV2HRQPZ
— Chael Sonnen (@ChaelSonnen) October 20, 2022
And a man who isn't afraid to reach out for help when he finds himself in times of trouble.
I need help
How do I prevent you frpm posting insipid messages?
— Chael Sonnen (@ChaelSonnen) October 27, 2022
Only Chanel Sonnen knows why he decided to make sh*tting on John Cena his cause du joir. I'm just thankful for the laughs.
Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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