The following post has nothing to do with politics. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez hasn't tweeted anything stupid about it. Elizabeth Warren hasn't tried to 1/1024th this, and Cory Booker hasn't flashed his jazz handsy fingers at any dog near or far. It's just a woman who's dumber than a breadbox, calling five-oh because a man's dog humped her dog in the dog park.

Is there a chance this is a parody and totally fake? I guess. But we're living in a time where parody doesn't measure to reality.

I, Courtney, have three dogs. I have three because four is too many. My three dogs are small, sweet and soft, as in no aggression at all. My dogs think the world is a friendly place where everyone is kind and wants to love them, including other dogs. They would get rolled in a dog park, easy. Dogs in dog parks are usually there to rough house. Many dog owners who take their dogs to dog parks pay little attention to their dogs. They're on their phones, chatting with other people, on their phones, not picking up their dog's poop, or on their phones. Many dog park dog owners are responsible, but a lot of them are not. They let their dogs run free, wild, and uncontrolled. One may argue that's rather the point of the dog park. Since I do not want my dogs to be rolled, crushed, bitten, or humped, I do not take my dogs to the dog park. Because rolling, crushing, biting (playful or not) and humping are all activities of the dog park.

Further, since dogs are off leash at the dog park, one cannot stop a dog from humping another dog if one wants to hump the other dog. You cannot send your dog to the corner to think about what he's done. You cannot make a dog write "I will not hump strange dogs" 100 times. Dogs do what dogs do, and sometimes dogs want to do each other.

Taking your dog to the dog park then getting upset that your dog experienced a dog park experience is a lot like going to Olive Garden and getting upset everything is full of carbs. Imagine being the turdmuffin who called the police because your rolls weren't gluten free. That's this lady.

Lastly, if you're calling the police because your dog got humped, you're living a pampered life. Your dog will not be emotionally scarred by the experience. Your dog is not whining at you because it had a pound me too encounter. Your dog probably doesn't even remember. What your dog wants right now is a biscuit, dinner, or scratches. Don't do it a frustrate be being heckin stupid.

What will be remembered is how first world stupid you are for calling the police about a dog humpcident.

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