This is what we call a mic drop after leaving a building you’ve just doused with gasoline. Only after dropping the mike, you light a cigarette and toss the lighter behind you. Boo-yah bitches. Nataly Buhr, valedictorian at San Ysidro High School started her speech like any other, thanking her parents and the great teachers who supported her in her high school academics. But then she loaded her sidearm with hollowpoints and took aim at her counselor, the school’s office staff, and a drunk teacher. Brace yourselves for the best high school speech you wish you could’ve given.
“To my counselor, thanks for teaching me to fend for myself. You were always unavailable to my parents and I, despite appointments. Only in these past few weeks, with the awards ceremonies and graduation coming up, did you begin making your appearance…
“To the teacher regularly intoxicated during class. Thank you for using yourself as an example to teach students about the dangers of alcoholism. Being escorted by police out of school was a lasting impression. I hope that future students and staff learn from these examples.”
Obviously, the school isn’t pleased with their best student humiliating their worst staff members. Despite my approval of using a public school graduation speech to call out crappy employees of a public school system. Hey, fair is fair. Anyway, the Sweetwater Union High School spokesperson told news that Buhr’s speech went off script. Get out. That’s like the greatest plot twist since finding one regular fry in your box of curlies. And, as shocking as a kid kicking your seat in a movie theater, the spokesperson isn’t happy with the speech:
“We think that the student’s speech was inappropriate and out of line,” Rubio told the news outlet in an email this week.
Jesus God I hope you were sitting down for that revelation. You know what’s also inappropriate and out of line? Counselors who don’t counsel, and teachers doing shots of tequila between periods. But you know. Humiliation or something.
“While we definitely welcome the concerns of students and their families regarding any situation at one of our schools, doing so in such a manner without any prior knowledge of this situation by the school, is not the right way of handling this. Ultimately this takes away from what should have been a day of celebration for the school and their community.”
Okay. Except if I had to guess, it’s likely these issues were brought up and the school did jack about it. I say that only as someone who’s seen the public school system operate. Let’s not pretend public schools employ only the most dedicated of angels. It’s a place of work almost like any other, except run by a governmental system. So maybe not as bad as the Post Office, but not as efficient as, say, an ER. Related: PROGRESS: California Public Schools Forced to Teach 2nd Graders About LGBT and Violent ‘By Any Means Necessary’ Antifa Sect Run by Public School Teachers.
Regardless, the speech was straight fire. We’ve all had to deal with crappy people in our lives, public sector or private. He, she or ze who hasn’t fantasized about giving those snot waffles some kind of comeuppance is a liar and I wish never to know you. Kudos to Buhr here for living out a fantasy few of us will ever have the chance to make real.