At first glance, you would think Eater was a foodie website. What with the word "eat" in the title. If not some strange pervert-themed lesbian distillery. Let's not go there, though. Sorry I brought it up. Then you read articles celebrating throwing milkshakes at anyone who disagrees with them politically, and you realize they're really owned by Vox Media (see Burger King Seemingly Endorses People Throwing Milkshakes at British Politicians and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Just Slammed Vox, Makes Perfect Point About Media’s Personality Obsession). Politicize all the things at all the times on all the sites!

Before ranking the best foods to throw at people -- because again, politicize all the things -- there was this history lesson on milkshakings. "Milkshake" has now become a verb. Progress?

After a series of incidents in which anti-fascist protesters have hurled milkshakes at right-leaning British political figures, from prominent Brexiter Nigel Farage to far-right U.K. Independence Party candidate for European Parliament Carl Benjamin to anti-Muslim activist Tommy Robinson, the ice cream drink has become a symbol of the resistance. To throw one is nonviolent, but the results are humiliating; press charges against the thrower (which many have), and you look like a fragile and bratty fool. And in bad news for conservative politicians, milkshaking — as it’s known — has made it stateside. Two Saturdays ago, Republican Congressman Matt Gaetz was milkshaked in Florida, making it a global phenomenon.

I think we need a website ranking the best techniques for making someone go to sleep after they throw a milkshake. Because in the real non-woke world, throwing something at someone is assault. And my reaction to you doing so becomes self-defense. See, and we didn't even need to turn a noun into a verb to make our case. It's almost like legal definitions of legal crime still matter, regardless of your opinion on who's elected.

But the bigger issue here is more cultural. Because what the left has done is create websites that focus on non-political topics. Like food. Or movies and sports. Then little by little, they start to interject their politics into that. The aspirin in applesauce technique. But the aspirin is a tranny who is beating all the real girls in track and silencing haters by deplatforming them. So more like the semen in the applesauce. Again, sorry.

The right needs to realize this and start spending their start-up capital accordingly. Agree?

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