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February 20, 2019
Transgender Actress Says Transwomen have "Biological Female Penises"
We've moved beyond front holes and mushroom-capped giggle sticks. For now, thanks to our newest hero in transgenderism, we have the biological female penis. Indya Moore is a male to female transgender (a dude) "actress" in something I'm unaware of mostly because I'm in my thirties and no longer care about every single thing on television. But it's my hope he's hence known as a wordsmithing pioneer. Behold, the greatest three-word combination of 2019:
A biologically female penis. A female penis. Penises for females. Why, it inspires me. Think of the book titles, the band names, the new transgender covens. Ladies of the Dick. Women of the Waggling Wands. Gals of the Hairy Gonads. Reminds me of those silly hashtag trends on Twitter, like transgender a book title: Harry Potter and the Biologically Female Penis. Transgender a movie: Mission Impossible 75: Biological Female Penis Rises. Transgender a song: Oops I Did a Biological Female Penis.
I guess women referring to some men's overly plumped mammaries as "man boobs" is what initially erected this gateway to penis wordplay. But in fairness, men do have chestcicles. They serve no real purpose, but men do have double front bags. The bigger they are the weirder, sure. But still.
Women do not have penises, female or otherwise. To say "female penis" is to say "sane insanity" or "functional dysfunction" maybe even "logical AOC" or "lucid Bernie."
But wait it gets better. Indya isn't backing down, he's doubling down:
At least he's consistent. Also, no, men do not have vaginas. Women have vaginas. Biological ones.
Actually yes, they can be defined in absolutes. Making a tweet about your feelings alters reality zero, but I do appreciate the effort. If only I could just wish my life into something it isn't with a declarative tweet.
This is the best part:
Guys, we appropriated the word "biolgogical." That's clearly where we went wrong, using the correct words to describe real things. Like male and female anatomy as male and female anatomy.
Actually, it is Indya who is appropriating a lot of things. Including what it means to be a woman. Related: Dear Transwomen: No, You DON'T Know What it Feels Like to be a Woman.
But he may be beyond help. For now, I need you to sound off in the comments about other appropriated terms you've thought of after reading "biological female penis."